Miffa Chan


Ko Samui (เกาะสมุย): Scam-o-meter ™ score 89/100
August 9, 2012, 9:09 am
Filed under: Beaches, consumer behaviour, idiots, rip-offs, scam-o-meter, scams, Travel

Ko Samui, or just Samui (Ko means island) is located in the southeastern part of Thailand. On the southwestern part you can find Langkawi, where we were past summer (but Langkawi is Malaysian).

What can you expect? Almost the same weather, the same beaches and the same people (visitors). That is right partly, and I will try to explain some details to those of you interested.

Let’s start saying that just out of the plane my Scam-o-meter ™ was flashing deep red when we was forced to que up for a taxi, and the taxi charges us for 8 kms 400 THB, almost two time the amount you pay from Bangkok airport to city center (45 minutes or more including tolls).

The hotel is just something “cool” and it stands over the mediocrity that surrounds it, but do not deserve the money they ask for it, several moon to earth distance is the amount between what you pay and what you get.

Hopefully we’re not in Chaweng, the busiest area, the longest beach and a mixed flavour of the worst Ibiza, Mallorca, Salou and Lloret you can imagine.

Plenty of well educated man and semi-naked local and foreigner women night parties really promise the eden type of paradise you were dreaming about. Beer is cheap and you get the usual 2 for 1, 6 x 2, etc.

But READ that if you are visiting this paradise!!! 

  • if you are entering a taxi or any transportation, let the ripper (they will rip you) know how much are you willing to pay (all of them will robb you but more than 300 BHT is severe punishment). Try to walk a little bit bro.
  • if you rent a scooter, do x-ray any scratch and missing part if you don’t want to fight or to pay the whole shit several times (some steal their own vehicles to charge you)
  • do not rent any engine operated water vehicle (jet ski, boat, etc) if you don’t want to get ripped off with multiple traps (existing damage, etc)
  • If asked, DO NOT EVER let your passport as guarantee, you will become their hostage.
  • As a basic rule, bargain even in McDonalds and say NO to everyone, then think a little and say “may be” and finally say “my friend, i am not stupid, just take it or leave it”
I have not flied a miserable flight in Finnair where food was shit and people nasty to buy a kids beach play set that cost me 3 euros in Europe to pay to times.

And another golden rule ” do not eat where you shit” (That means never have lunch or dinner in the hotel)


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The worst place in earth you can be, try it, you’ll hate it.
April 11, 2012, 8:47 am
Filed under: England, idiots, london, united kingdom
With the 2012 Olympics being held in London, I need to ask you to go there. Being London one of the few places I promised myself I will never go, destiny made me a good move and I was forced to be there for a couple of days.
Kingdom of Boredom. That’s another way to translate United Kingdom.
Everything is disgusting, all the stupid places are not worth to visit, are crowded, stupidly expensive, and just suck!
We will try to make a list of ten or a thousand reasons you shouldn’t visit that damn place, but if you are studying English, please ask your father or mother to put you there for a month in summer.
That will be Summer of Hell (and you will return home speaking poorer English than before)



Quest for the perfect UK place – Oxford
April 7, 2012, 8:23 am
Filed under: England, idiots, Travel, united kingdom
We continue our search for the best place to live close to London but out of it.
A nice place we have been told is Oxford, a lively cosmopolitan city that is chosen by many expats.
Well, getting there is easy and fast with those double carriage (I would say two lanes) roundabouts every few miles. 
We have driven in almost all the countries who drive the wrong way of the road but here you have to pay EXTRA attention to look to the right when entering.
After these lines you will find some pictures of Oxford. We just don’t like it, for many reasons but one of them is they don’t like visitors, or at least they to bring a car.
In a Public parking – covered- we struggled to enter , because it was designed for Fiat 500 alike cars. Inside, not enough room to put the car into the marks. No problems let’s find another one. This time it was open air but really great parking lots.
Let’s pay, 3.90 pounds an hour (is this New York?). Ok, let’s use the credit card, blast they don’t take, a 20 pounds note, they don’t take notes…
You can only use coins, no change is given and you have to enter your number plate!!!
And besides all this mess in the country I am living they consider than a Eco Tax of 1 euro a day in unfair for tourist!
May be they’re right it’s unfair that in Barcelona, for example, you can pay with credit card in the streets and Parkings



Mercedes S Class
April 6, 2012, 9:55 am
Filed under: High output cars, idiots, mercedes, top gear
This is the Mercedes flagship , said to us the guy in the rent a car company. Well, that wasn’t my idea of a nice car since I came here to test an Indian car (Jaguar) or a Land Rover, but they don’t have them anymore. May be adding oil everyday has a great impact in business profits.


Obviously the unit is an entry level 350 cdi diesel. Extras? electric sunroof, heated seats (no extra cost in UK) and bluetooth ready. That raises the bill up to 61,780 GBP – that it’s about 74.000 €. Not so bad, I would say that is cheap.


The car handles great with the standard airmatic suspension. It’s a very long car (more than five meters) but it doesn’t feel that long even in curvy roads. The only nightmare is to park it in some parking and of course on the street (parking guidance is standard).


Fuel Consumption? Great for such a big car. Around 8 liters in a real mixed city and road travel at legal speeds but using the more than 60 mkg torque all the time.


So good that i decided that this can be a good replacement car for me. Ok, there are some issues that we did not like it… but i will talk about that later.


Check the price in Mercedes-benz.es to figure up the price in Spain.


93.815 € 


For the same fuck*** car!!!!!!!



I need to take some air. 



Foolish dreams? Let’s talk about financial crisis.
October 6, 2008, 7:15 pm
Filed under: Editorial, idiots, subvertising, We don't give a shit

I studied economics –nobody is perfect and everyday I regret that decision- but I decided to steal money from consumers and the general public in a more creative way using other methods.

Moving money from one place to another and “letting the ball roll backwards” is a good way to become rich. Of course you need some big bucks to start playing.

But the “all you can drink” is over even for the big banks. Amazingly they are still putting big money in expensive ads in magazines in which they tell you how well they will care about your money investing in trash!


Bravo! Fortis (Miffa loved this bank)


Where yesterday

Bankruptcy today and tomorrow.

Getting you there (even if you don’t want)



Foolish dreams? Let’s talk about financial crisis.
October 6, 2008, 7:15 pm
Filed under: Editorial, idiots, subvertising, We don't give a shit

I studied economics –nobody is perfect and everyday I regret that decision- but I decided to steal money from consumers and the general public in a more creative way using other methods.

Moving money from one place to another and “letting the ball roll backwards” is a good way to become rich. Of course you need some big bucks to start playing.

But the “all you can drink” is over even for the big banks. Amazingly they are still putting big money in expensive ads in magazines in which they tell you how well they will care about your money investing in trash!


Bravo! Fortis (Miffa loved this bank)


Where yesterday

Bankruptcy today and tomorrow.

Getting you there (even if you don’t want)



A day at the races. The old gentleman driver’s era and the new super idiots
October 22, 2007, 4:55 pm
Filed under: Editorial, Friends, High output cars, idiots
Yes, again, using the opportunity that my angry daughter offers me I will break his “book of style” talking about the F1 Championship.

Last weekend we celebrate a nice event in Barcelona – Martini racing legends– with Emmerson Fitipaldi and we lack old legends like J. Stewart.

On the newspapers Mr. Stewart said that the “wanna be championship” was vulnerable. But after watching the race I must say that his boss, his manager and himself are phucking idiots.

This year on the F1 they have really made a lot of effort to make it more boring – do you remember the five points they just took to Fernando at -Hungary ?, do you remember the bullshit the English press wrote about him?

Any idiot who writes on a newspaper can write a headline like “At least Fernando did not win!?

Garrafone is angry, Santander hates Dennis, an even Mercedes – great phuckers- are angry. I am happy.

Go with papa Hamilton and try to remember how you got mad while Fernando passed you.

Looser!